I am still stuck with the 5 lb gain, but eating habits went right back to the old ways. Within minutes of finishing my 24 day challenge, and going on vacation I went right back to eating junk, whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Last night, I made a dinner with pasta, and red sauce... I ate an ice cream bar, and girl scout cookies. This morning, I ate a donut (chocolate maple bar) a pumpkin spice muffin, a blueberry scone, and have saved a second donut (chocolate) for this afternoon. WTF is wrong with me that I think I have to have it all. I wasn't happy with just a donut, or just the scone, or just the muffin. I wanted it all. And all of that sugar and crap put me in a bad mood, made me feel tired, bloated, and cranky. I could barely keep my eyes open this morning. I couldn't seem to get anything accomplished, not even simple every day tasks. Then I went for a lunch break run, and I could not get my legs to move. They felt stuck in concrete, my belly jiggled in all the wrong places, and I had to walk a lot. The good news is the run made me feel better physically. I have a bit more energy this afternoon and can at least finish up some of my day to day stuff. And for lunch I had a salad which is helping.
More on the donuts, scones and muffins. I will admit it... I LOVE that kind of stuff. If it resembles cake in anyway I will eat it whether I like it or not. I have been known to scarff down carrot cake, and strawberry cake my two least favorite sweets. Ah hell, I don't even like carrot cake and strawberries make me gag. So the experiment this morning was to remember if I LIKED the food, or just ate it for whatever reason... because it was there. And the funny thing is, it didn't taste all that great. It was good, sweet, and fatty and oh so sweet. But I could have been happy with my sweet apple and some eggs this morning. And felt so much better. The scone was very dry, and crumbly, and it wasn't as sweet as the donut. Not great, not even really good. But I ate every drop of it. The muffin was dry, crumbly and left a funny coating on my tongue. Again, not great, not even really good. So 1000 plus calories in a morning, and I am still looking for something satisfying.
This was a learning scientific experiment. If I was to make a list of foods that I cannot live without, these would not be on it. So far my list consists of diet pepsi. Can't live without diet pepsi. So I think I am going to make that list... and I will see how it goes. Foods that I want to eat, foods that I have ate, and can't live without.
Why does sugar have to be so bad!!
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