I am not a church goer, or do I have an unending fountain of faith in my being. So this is a hard topic for me. Worship to me is synonomous with grateful. I guess I tend to believe in a higher power, and for me that is enough right now.
Worship to me is a beautiful sunset in the evening while holding my sweet little boy. It is an early morning sunrise, while I drink my coffee and tell my son it is a good morning and what a beautiful day. It is the early morning run, listening to my feet pound the pavement, and thanking God that I have two feet, and two legs that can pound the pavement, listening to the birds giving their wake up call. Worship is those first few minutes when camping, that you are one with nature, and that something bigger than you is at work. Worship is seeing my sweet baby for the first time, and thanking God that everything was okay.
I don't need a church to pray. I pray and thank God for all that is good every time I see my sweet boy bend over and smell a flower. Or tell me good morning in his little voice that is just learning to talk. I see the miracles over and over, and sometimes I lose sight of what is really important.
Now, today I am thankful that all is well in my world, even though there are still dishes to do, toys to pick up, a diaper to change. We have a very small home, and it is always a mess. I am thankful that there is a mess to pick up.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Monday, August 26, 2013
Feeling Tired
I am feeling tired, beat up, and like there is never enough time in a weekend to get everything accomplished before the week starts again. This is kind of a whiny post, but it seems that the harder I try to keep things neat and uncluttered, the more mess I have to clean up. I spent all afternoon Friday, all day Saturday and most of Sunday cleaning house, picking up after my 19 month old, and this morning it looks like I didn't do a thing. I slowly am losing it. It seems that I have no direction for my life right now, and is all I do is pick up after my toddler, and try to get a diaper bag packed and his lunch made. By Monday morning. I don't get enough sleep, and I wake up already tired and grumpy. How do I get a handle on this kind of stuff, and get a routine in my life where I can get things done, and still have time to play with my baby. Family time is very important to me, but with work, housework, taking care of the baby, there doesn't seem to be much family time going on. I don't know how mothers of multiples do it.
So I have had this blog now for 8 months, and it seems nothing I set out to do has happened. Getting so tired of the day to day working at it and spinning my wheels. Like I say this is a whiny post. The one thing I am looking forward to is having my son in school, in January where maybe I can take a staycation and get things organized.
I have been called on Jury Duty this week, which seems to make things even harder because it is a day by day type of thing. It makes work even that much harder to do.
So I have had this blog now for 8 months, and it seems nothing I set out to do has happened. Getting so tired of the day to day working at it and spinning my wheels. Like I say this is a whiny post. The one thing I am looking forward to is having my son in school, in January where maybe I can take a staycation and get things organized.
I have been called on Jury Duty this week, which seems to make things even harder because it is a day by day type of thing. It makes work even that much harder to do.
Friday, August 16, 2013
Five Minute Friday - Small
When thinking of the word small, I seem to get something negative in my head. That is too small for me to wear, that is to small of a job for me to do. Small people... etc, etc. The list goes on. Then I started thinking what if small was positive?? What a concept, so let me explain.
It is the small things that make a marriage. It is in the every day minuta (sp) of marriage that the small things end up to big things. And making a marriage last. It is the quick kiss goodbye in the morning, a short hug on the way in or out, it is the I love you in passing in the hallway. Those are all small things that done on a daily basis add up to something very big.
It is the small things that make a house a home: A small dinner for two, a small picture on the wall, a small bouquet sitting on the table. Those are the small things that make a home.
The small things in raising a child: Stopping to play cars for 10 minutes... such a short time out of a busy day, stopping to take a deep breathe and be patient when he has just played ring toss with your eggs, and the twenty seconds it takes to give him a big hug for no reason. The small things are what will define and make him a young man someday.
So it is the small things that make a person happy. Not how much money you spend, not how much stuff you accumulate, it is the small gestures and I love you's that make something BIG.
It is the small things that make a marriage. It is in the every day minuta (sp) of marriage that the small things end up to big things. And making a marriage last. It is the quick kiss goodbye in the morning, a short hug on the way in or out, it is the I love you in passing in the hallway. Those are all small things that done on a daily basis add up to something very big.
It is the small things that make a house a home: A small dinner for two, a small picture on the wall, a small bouquet sitting on the table. Those are the small things that make a home.
The small things in raising a child: Stopping to play cars for 10 minutes... such a short time out of a busy day, stopping to take a deep breathe and be patient when he has just played ring toss with your eggs, and the twenty seconds it takes to give him a big hug for no reason. The small things are what will define and make him a young man someday.
So it is the small things that make a person happy. Not how much money you spend, not how much stuff you accumulate, it is the small gestures and I love you's that make something BIG.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Lonely
It has been a while since I posted anything. I can't believe how the time flies. It just goes, and goes, and then I realize that I am behind on everything. Again.
I ran across a blog that had a five minute writing assignment. Today's topic is lonely. I am going to write for five minutes on the topic, just to get my brain started today.
Lonely:
This word has very negative connotations with it for me. People who are lonely always seem to be "miserable" and or very unhappy. I think lonely can be a positive thing, if you allow it to be. I have been reading a lot of blogs lately on weight loss, and how you have to heal your inside so that you don't stuff yourself with food. Like a drug addict that needs that next cigarette, drink, or meth hit, food is also used as a drug. I have read blogs where husbands left, children have died, and I can understand the pain and lonliness that comes into something like that. Then trying, trying to make yourself feel better you turn to a bag of doritoes or a pint of ben and jerry's. You cover up the hole in your heart... and never let the outside world see that hole. And once that hole gets covered up, it gets deeper. So then you have to put down the shovel, and quit digging... but in the process you have become a shell of your former self.
When my best friend died, she left a hole in my heart, and some very real feelings of anger, and "how could she do this to me, leave me alone like this. I am just now starting to work through some of those feelings. And anger with God. How could he do this to me. So Lonely is quite an interesting topic to write, and feel. I know that I am becoming one of those people that self soothe with food. I gave up alcohol, never did drugs, but in my darkest days I probably could have. I am too naïve to find the right people.... so I self soothe with food. When I feel lonely, tired, angry, depressed, I try to make myself feel better with food. I am not obese yet, but am overweight and really need to figure out how to heal my heart, balance my needs with my emotions.
Onto a different topic, I signed up to do a cupcake contest at the State Fair. I can't wait... and will be baking some fun cupcakes this weekend. I am looking forward to it, along with some fall cleaning. Getting ready for back to school always makes me want to clean and bake.
I will give an update later on my goals... not going so well. I still spend to much money on wants, I haven't figured out how to get my business going, still have 40 lbs to lose, and I am still completely disorganized.
I ran across a blog that had a five minute writing assignment. Today's topic is lonely. I am going to write for five minutes on the topic, just to get my brain started today.
Lonely:
This word has very negative connotations with it for me. People who are lonely always seem to be "miserable" and or very unhappy. I think lonely can be a positive thing, if you allow it to be. I have been reading a lot of blogs lately on weight loss, and how you have to heal your inside so that you don't stuff yourself with food. Like a drug addict that needs that next cigarette, drink, or meth hit, food is also used as a drug. I have read blogs where husbands left, children have died, and I can understand the pain and lonliness that comes into something like that. Then trying, trying to make yourself feel better you turn to a bag of doritoes or a pint of ben and jerry's. You cover up the hole in your heart... and never let the outside world see that hole. And once that hole gets covered up, it gets deeper. So then you have to put down the shovel, and quit digging... but in the process you have become a shell of your former self.
When my best friend died, she left a hole in my heart, and some very real feelings of anger, and "how could she do this to me, leave me alone like this. I am just now starting to work through some of those feelings. And anger with God. How could he do this to me. So Lonely is quite an interesting topic to write, and feel. I know that I am becoming one of those people that self soothe with food. I gave up alcohol, never did drugs, but in my darkest days I probably could have. I am too naïve to find the right people.... so I self soothe with food. When I feel lonely, tired, angry, depressed, I try to make myself feel better with food. I am not obese yet, but am overweight and really need to figure out how to heal my heart, balance my needs with my emotions.
Onto a different topic, I signed up to do a cupcake contest at the State Fair. I can't wait... and will be baking some fun cupcakes this weekend. I am looking forward to it, along with some fall cleaning. Getting ready for back to school always makes me want to clean and bake.
I will give an update later on my goals... not going so well. I still spend to much money on wants, I haven't figured out how to get my business going, still have 40 lbs to lose, and I am still completely disorganized.
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